Thought-provoking article, Jessey.
I’d say, to date, American society is born of taboo-driven norms about sexuality and what individuals can do to fulfill their emotional needs and romantic desires.
My sexual fantasies go back to my toddler years. I discovered I was heterosexual. Gay men I've questioned tell me their fantasies were always homosexual and conflicted with the majority heterosexual environment. I imagine the conflict adds difficulty to knowing what they want or how to have a thriving romantic relationship. Emotional intelligence about sexual orientation needs to be encouraged early and throughout a child's life.
American men (and I dare say women) are oppressed by our society's slowly evolving norms. As children and adolescents, we are not encouraged or educated to explore and define what we want in our relationships with the people we are sexually attracted to.
Instead, feelings and thoughts of deeper understanding remain underdeveloped while generalities fill the void. Ironically, we are labeled a developed country.
Most men I’ve known or observed think of themselves (with women) in terms of expectations. Nothing but locker room talk and the seemingly ever-popular theme that men and women (as categories) want this or that. It is herd mentality; they roam according to tales about the bitches or ladies (the adjective classification depends on who they're hanging out with).
Romance becomes a replay loop of how we've been conditioned as stereotypes rather than, first and foremost, individuals. Perception needs to shift toward inner needs rather than what’s generally expected.
I'll be gone if it ever happens. Still, as a society, I hope we move significantly away from thinking about each other as if we're preconceived to be like men or women. Instead, we are encouraged to act with our unique emotional intelligence.