Member-only story
I’m Going to Keep You Forever
Tis always the season.
There are once-shared recollections that diffuse the present moment so that my aura blankets what is past in solace. Memories are woven strands of tranquil thought, seemingly born to replenish sanguinity, donning my senses with the pungent air of melancholy nostalgia.
These introspections appear with the crisp brilliance of vivid springtime pedals and summon a glimpse at pieces of my past radiance, bursting with all sensory evidence of that era intact. Then, as if that life experience was never more than a trinket for distraction, the present moment turns back to these autumn years, and for whatever is or was, and for better or worse, I wistfully go about my way.
As such, I’m sometimes struck by past relationships, particularly those in which I was of little or great consequence to someone but who instantly meant everything to me. The memories come to light and appear alive, traversing their various paths to what becomes now.
Fortunately, in lesser occurrences, I relive a betrayal. In those instances, I can still feel my defiance, but then I’m generally grateful the relationship was outed and it’s now entirely over. Yet those thoughts reoccur as if they are breadcrumbs leading to the scene of a tragedy that, for my life, can never be wholly evaded.