He put you through the wringer and squeezed out the pain he wanted you to bear. I'm sure he's doing it to someone else today. Acts like this have lasting consequences in many peoples lives. The story I shared about my friend didn't end like yours. He did commit suicide and sent the tape recording and note to his ex-wife. I knew him in high school, his parents were abusive. In tenth grade he told me he was afraid he would kill himself one day. After graduation I sent him bus money to join me in Colorado to start a band. We traveled and worked together for 8 years. He married and things went downhill. They divorced when she became pregnant. He moved in with me and attempted suicide twice. I called the ambulance both times. Finally, after 8 years I gave him bus money and sent him home to his parents. I was devastated about giving up on him but he was draining me. Some year's later when his daughter was eight, I visited. That's when I found out about the taped suicide. For some odd reason Brenda, the wife played the tape for the little girl when she was five years old. Can you imagine? That girl became very troubled. Brenda was a wreck. Both of them have severe mental health issues today. Still, I hope the best for all of them. I've found ways to replace the pain of this with peace. That's what forgiveness looks like to me.